Premium software development powered by naps, judgmental stares, and
Cutting-edge solutions developed through rigorous napping and occasional keyboard walks.
We design systems that scale horizontally while we sleep vertically. 18 hours of uptime downtime guarantees peak creativity.
Our proprietary method of generating random strings that somehow compile. It's not a bug, it's a feature. Literally.
Batata will stare at your pull request until you question every life choice that led you to write that nested ternary.
We untangle your node_modules with the same precision we apply to unraveling expensive sweaters.
Because the best ideas happen when you're running across the bed at full speed for no reason.
Agile methodology where story points are measured in cans of tuna. Velocity is directly correlated to snack breaks.
The holy trinity of vibe coding. No impostors. No mystery cats. Only legends.
Founder and spiritual leader. 15 years of experience knocking things off tables and judging your CSS. Believes all standups should happen at 5AM while screaming. Has never written a line of code and never will.
So white he reflects sunlight into your eyes at 6AM. Co-leads technical vision alongside Batata. Specializes in sitting on white backgrounds and becoming invisible. You think he's not there. He is. Always.
Imported directly from Croatia. Does not code. Does not even have fingers. But screams with such conviction that bugs fix themselves out of fear. Handles all EU regulatory compliance through sheer volume.
Verified reviews from our most distinguished colleagues and sworn enemies.
I asked BatataLab to build me a dashboard. Fresco sat on the monitor and now I have a perfectly white screen. Minimalist. Brilliant. Zero bugs because there's zero code. 12/10 would hire again.
As a black cat, I appreciate that BatataLab works exclusively in dark mode. The Screaming Turtle from Croatia reviewed my API and I haven't slept since. My webhook endpoints now respond in Croatian. Terrifying. Effective.
I'm a tabby. I knock things over. BatataLab built me a physics engine that simulates gravity specifically so I can optimize my knocking strategy. Fresco Prime personally QA'd it by becoming one with the whiteboard. Game changer.
We do not fear competition. We document it. For legal reasons.
Coastal menace. Steal our lunch, steal our clients, steal our sanity. Known for swooping in on unsuspecting picnics and SaaS contracts alike. Their sales team is loud and airborne.
Threat Level: SKREERooting around in our server farms since 2023. No respect for property lines or RESTful architecture. Destroys gardens and PostgreSQL databases with equal enthusiasm. Cannot be reasoned with.
Threat Level: SNORTIf you have intelligence on either entity, contact us immediately. Do not approach. Do not feed. Do not merge their pull requests.
Help Batata evade the corporate seagulls and wild boars. No backend required. Pure instinct.
Ready to let a cat judge your codebase? Drop a line. Or a string. Or a feather toy.
Response time: 0-18 hours, depending on nap schedule.
No dogs allowed. No seagulls. Wild boars will be reported.